Jackal

reaching out

Back in October I mentioned my anxiety over meeting another woman who struggles with mental illness. We met at a coffee house and after the support worker introduced us over coffee we went for a walk along the river.

I had Milky with me so that was an ice-breaker but it was surprising how easy it was to talk to her. From here on I shall refer to her as 'M'.

M and I shared our fears over meeting and found we both had the same fears but knew the risk was worth taking. I was wary due to being badly let down by my so-called best friend but I decided I have to make other friends.

Since that day we have kept in regular contact by phone and on Sunday M came to spend the afternoon at my house. I was nervous but excited. Again it was comfortable and we were able to share a few things about ourselves. So a tentaitive step towards friendship has begun.

M brought up the subject of Christmas so I was able to ask her how she was going to cope with Christmas ( M lost her mother in March and this will be her first Christmas alone ). M told me she was not sure what to do and I found myself giving her another option. I invited her to spend a few days with me over Christmas. It wasn't impulsive... I had discussed it with my mother and had given it a lot of thought.

This is my first Christmas in my new home so the plan was we'd spend Christmas eve with my mother, wake up on Christmas day at hers then we'd all head over to my place for the day. Yes, I am cooking the Christmas meal ( gulp ). My sister will come over sometime in the afternoon in time for pudding.

M was quite taken aback and said it was an option she would consider.

When M was leaving she said the time had flown by. I too, was surprised how quickly the afternoon had gone.

Anyway, I am not sure if M will come for Christmas but it felt important for me to give her that option.

posted by: Jackal at December 09, 2008 16:54 | link | comments (9) |
mental illness

Comments:

#1  09 December 2008 - 18:23

 

That was very kind of you to offer M an option for Christmas. Your budding friendship is good for both of you. My dear friend Hina is coming back from Aotearoa next week and I can't wait. Been rather lonely without her. Good friends are hard to find and I hope that you and M can be that for each other. And if not, well what have you lost?

So what are going to cook for Christmas? Are you decorating your home? How? Show pix! I need to get started, Christmas in three weeks and I haven't even listened to a carol yet.

RomaCittaEterna

#2  09 December 2008 - 19:33

 

Cook?? erm...

decorate??

photograph??

Oh nobody told me it was going to be so complicated.

And who the heck is Carol anyway?

heehee

Jackal

#3  11 December 2008 - 17:21

 

How nice to read this post. The nice thing about a traditional holiday is the opportunity to start new traditions. I hope you enjoy every minute! Merry Christmas, J!

xoxo

InMyLife

#4  12 December 2008 - 06:07

 

I'm glad you've made this connection.

Anonymous

#5  12 December 2008 - 07:03

 

*pokes Jackal* Christmas Carols! :)

RomaCittaEterna

#6  14 December 2008 - 11:45

 

I did survived finals...woo hoo.

I love the video in the top of your page. Makes me understand so much. Thanks for sharing!

mgrhetos2

#7  15 December 2008 - 20:19

 

It's great you have made and maintained this connection. I hope your Christmas plans go well. We haven't decorated yet..I know time's disappearing fast. Ian

Anonymous

#8  16 December 2008 - 11:21

 

J, did you ever imagine you'd be the one supporting someone else like that?? How wonderful you've become a person and friend strong enough to step up with courage and sacrifice when someone you know needs you!! You go, girl! I'm so happy that you're building this relationship with M. I hope it continues to grow in a positive way. I hope she takes you up on you offer and all of you have a wonderful holiday.

Ladyinthemoon

#9  22 December 2008 - 22:20

 

..better make more than one pudding to bring, just in case! :-)

Anonymous

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